My Manic & I

Devendra and Natalie (plus puppy dogs) were ridiculously adorable

but prego Natalie Portman engaged to Black Swan choreographer, Benjamin Millepied, sits fine with me - a genetically blessed baby is on its way!

This lady at Target talked to me for a couple minutes about this and that and at the end of our conversation she says to me, “I like the way you speak and the way you carry yourself - you are a very nice, young lady” . 

My shipment had finally come in (after stalking the UPS guy the morning my package was supposed to arrive) and I (my feet) was ready to make sweet love to Jeffrey Campbell (in shoe form) . I slowly slipped my feet into these babies to the sound of angels singing, when the music dyed out as the zipper (in the back heel part of the shoe) wouldn’t budge to zip up . YES, THIS WAS REAL LIFE . YES, MY SIZE SEVEN (SOMETIMES SIX AND ONE HALF) FEET WOULDN’T FIT INTO THESE PERFECTLY CRAFTED HOME FOR SPOILED FEETS IN A SIZE SEVEN .

I pulled my feet out of the shoes to inspect them - it could have been all in my head, but I swear my big toe looked abnormally large (the way a big toe shouldn’t) . I did what any other sane person would do in this situation: I cried hysterically . It was the end of my world; I might as well buy UGG boots now since the universe deemed me incapable of sporting darling shoes (I’ll even sport them with Victoria Secret’s PINK sweat pants in the color AS-IF-I-EVER-WOULD) .

I recently gained weight (about four lbs - and no it has nothing to do with the fact that I’ve had pizza everyday for the past two weeks, SHADDAP) and besides clearly packing much ass, I wasn’t sure where the extra pounds went, but now I know: my big toes . ModCloth.com sold out of the next size up of these shoes so now I have to return them and cross my fingers that these shoes come back in stock and that I pounce on them before they sell out again!  ”You can try SEARS .” WHAT IS LIFE?

This morning I had my first cup of hot chocolate in years - in it were homemade peppermint marshmallows that I decided I needed to make (you can find the recipe for them here). 

Brunch at my brother’s house was nice - I unwrapped O.P.I polishes from the Burlesque collection (Take The Stage and Let Me Entertain You) and from the Holiday 2010 collection (Plum Full of Cheer), Gossip Girl Season 3, and a Global Positioning System (which is fantastic since I’m lost ALL THE TIME, it seems) . I’m a very lucky girl! On top of all the wonderful things I got today, David bought me a sewing machine! I got everything I wanted this year and more . I am going to use this break to learn French and sew, sew, sew!

I finally got to spend some time with my family and it was a really nice time minus the chaos that seems to follow my family . I’m trying to mix in some holiday traditions into our Muslim/Arab home, but nothing ever seems to stick - this year we made a gingerbread train and went to the movies to see The Tourist . Oh well, semi-functional family time is better than no family time at all .

Happy Christmas!

mymuffinneedsbuttering:

I’m not going to rant (today would be the best ranting days ever because absolutely everything that could go wrong went wrong, SO WRONG that I think if I wrote a screenplay based off today it would involve everyone laughing so hard that their insides would explode because my life is such a JOKE) but just so you get an idea (in case you didn’t): THIS IS HOW I FELT ALL DAY . I cried for hours .

I’ll post my documentary on the Michigan Smoking Ban’s effects on Dearborn Hookah Lounges in a little while, but first let me tell you how glad I am that class with Gilmore is over! I survived the semester with a B+ in the class, but somehow after all the tears and the social isolation that had to be done to complete the stressful assignments in this class (that turned out to fit in the better half of the class category), I truly feel like I should have gotten an A- . Gilmore wrote little comments on how much he enjoyed my documentary and how well I covered the topic in the allotted time, but managed to deduct three points from my total because he felt that next time I should have gotten more footage to make it easier on myself while editing . His little “teaching me a lesson” thing only pisses me off the more and more I think about it . Someone please explain to me why Gilmore is punishing me for capturing all the footage that I needed and using all of it? I’m left with a 57/60; normally I would be fine with the grade but there was just insane . At least I recieved the full five participation points for sitting through 2 1/2 hour premier of the entire class’s final films - I had to pee the entire time but refrained from getting up because I didn’t want to be “rude” .. probably going to suffer a UTI . Oh, lovely .

Although my hair is damaged from the number of chemicals I’ve massaged into it over the years, and although I pack much booty (perhaps too much), and just because I can’t seem to bring myself to have artificial conversations with strangers doesn’t mean I should stress out and cry about it and convince myself that I’m an inadequate human being who no one likes .

I’m starting to think that people tear themselves down in hopes to find someone to build them back up again, that person then incorporates pieces of them along the way . I don’t want to wait for someone to save me, I’m tired of being saved . Maybe I’m a control freak (I’m reminded of this by people around me) but I want to correct my flaws; and while some would argue that you could always find someone who will accept and love your flaws, I argue that it won’t ever matter if you still view yourself flawed . 

 I’ve noticed with help from a professional that I have been a passive agent in my own life my whole life . Things just fall into place for me and opportunity comes knocking on my door (probably while I’m in my jammies watching Gossip Girl on DVR and eating mini chocolate eclairs) . I realize that wonderful things happen to me as a result of all the beautiful people that surround me and I’m aware how incredibly lucky I am to have a life that is one big happy accident, but I’m just tired of letting good things just happen to me . I’m feeling out of my element; I want a complete personality cleanse, body cleanse, soul cleanse . I’m going to change, I need to change before I completely destroy myself and with it all the things about me that keep the people I love around .

I’m wrapping all my gifts this year with old newspapers . I’ve wrapped a few so far and they look really cool! Use the funny comic strip pages to make your gift unique! These are the ones I’m giving away so far: 

I got:

this Christmas I would like: